Hah! HAH! I made it, you bastards! I still had twenty bucks in my backup account on payday! HAHAHA! I WIN!

I'm an atheist, and so I believe that apart from the fact that my Credit Union is trying to make a profit and isn't really on my side, no outside forces are really trying to sabotage me financially*.

Nevertheless, I tend to personify the malfinancial spirits, as if there were an anthropomorphic force trying to limit my quality of life. I often have conversations in my head that play out like this:

Me: "Man, I want a sandwich."
Also Me: "You're completely broke, though."
Me: "I don't care, I'm getting a sandwich."
Also Me: "You'll be overdrawn!"
Me: "I getting a big damn sandwich and a soda!"
Still Me: "You'll be broke forever!"
Me: "And chips!"

In case you were wondering, the cadence of that conversation, in my head, is always exactly the same as my memory of Bender's monologue in The Breakfast Club. The one he finishes by showing off his cigarette burns (or, in my case, my $25 overdraft fees). Right here, on page 37-38 of the shooting script(??).

Healthy? Why no, not entirely. Still, TWENTY BUCKS LEFT, you bastards, I made it!!!!

*Well, ok, I believe that American capitalism is set up to maintain and increase class divide, so the system in general makes it harder for people with little money to stay afloat, and easier for people with lots of money to get more. But aside from that...