Ok, why the hell are grommet setting machines so damned expensive? Surely I can find one somewhere for under ninety-five bucks? I mean, it's just a lever, right? Looks like I could build my own with a pair of vise grips...

More importantly, why do they all sound more like sex toys than hand tools? Yes, yes, it's a bit of a stretch to see the "Hand Press" as even remotely sexual, and to snicker at the "Stroking Hand Press" is perhaps a bit puerile, but come on! They named their grommet machine the "Deep Throat"???