F. T. W.
I just don't care anymore. My dire financial situation (apparently I could not afford that tequilla shot) has given me a complete disregard for the rule of law! Rar! I said I wouldn't eat cheese-heavy food? Screw that, I'm having veggie pizza. No caloric sodas? Feh, I drank two cans of Sprite©. No sweets? Well for dessert I'm a-gonna chow down on some (fat free) dark chocolate (yogurt). Yeah! I'm a rebel!!

Actually, my diet is getting ridiculously complicated.
    No flesh from animals, except in sushi. But what counts as sushi? Surely not just anything wrapped in rice...
    No caloric soda (What about sparkling fruit juice?)
    No sweets (I really need a rabbi to help me figure this out... chocolate bars are out but, apparently, hot chocolate made from chocolate bars is kosher?)